The Pain Within

Sometimes, being hurt too many times doesn’t make you stronger, it destroys who you were, who you wanted to be and makes who you are today. -Rafael Prado

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Lucy used to live with her parents and two brothers Edward and Edmund in Middleton. Usually, people say that daughters are close to their fathers. But that’s not the case with Lucy. She was very close to her mother. Her father was very strict and of dominating nature. He was brusque in nature. He never used to talk politely to any of his kids. So the kids used to talk to their mother only. Whenever their dad came home immediately all the children’s would go to their rooms.
Every day their father used to scold them for their small mistakes. He used to speak in a strident voice. All the kids used to dislike their father for his bad behaviour. But they couldn’t do anything. They patiently listen to their father’s lecture. Both the brothers were serene in nature they never back answered their father but Lucy was short tempered. Whenever her father scolded her she used to back answer him. Their mother used to console them whenever they’re hurt.
Even though their father was raspy to them the children still loved him and treated him kindly. Lucy tried to warn her father about his behaviour obliquely. She used to write letters to her father and tell him about his behaviour. One day the father scolded the eldest son Edward for not coming home early. Edward got upset and went to his room and started weeping Lucy went to his room and tried to console him. Edward said I’m tired I can’t live like this now. After completing my education I’ll leave this house and I’ll never come back again. Lucy replied you can’t say that Ed You’ll have to come here to meet mom at least. I know dad’s harsh but we cannot leave mom like this. After that conversation, Lucy went to her room and decided to write a letter to her father. Lucy wrote a letter in which she enunciated that “Dear Dad, I’m writing this letter to inform you that last night you scolded Edward very badly I just want you to be a little kind to all of us. “Please change your behaviour” we are grown up now you can’t treat us like small kids.
Her father read that letter and called Lucy. Lucy was scared. She had no idea how her father would react. She knew that she’ll get scolding too. Lucy went to her father’s room. Her father yelled at her. He said I will not change for anyone if you all don’t like my behaviour you can all leave this house I’ll never ever change for anyone. Lucy’s was heartbroken after hearing that rude speech. She left her father’s room with tears in her eyes. She went to her room and cried out loud. Edward heard her crying he knocked the door and said “Lucy can I come in?” Lucy replied in crying voice “Yes you can”. Edward solaced Lucy and said I told you yesterday only Lucy. We should leave this house after our education. Lucy nodded her head.
Lucy became an Engineer and her brothers became doctors. After few years all the children decided to leave their parents’ house. But they were worried about their mom. So Lucy decided that she’ll take her mom with her. So she went to her mom and asked her mom I’m leaving this house and I’m going to live in Yorkshire and I’m taking you with me. Her mother replied in a low voice “no dear I’ll stay here with your dad. You can move on.” Edward and Edmund went to London. When the children were leaving their parents’ house the entire family burst into tears. Leaving their parents’ house was difficult for them but because of their father’s unkind behaviour, the children left. They visited their parents once in every six months.

The reason for writing this story is many parents are not fit to be parents. The way you treat your children is the way the will treat you. So be kind to your children and don’t scold them all the time. Scolding all the time can break the relationship. Try to be your children’s friend. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t scold your children but not every time.

Yes, a child needs to be caressed. He/she should be stroked gently and lovingly on the head and looked at with affection. Looking at a child warmly and kindly will make him/her happy. However, one should not show excessive affection for children as this will be harmful. Some parents believe that being frank with children is not good from a discipline point of view. This is wrong. Love and leniency can do much that fear and strictness cannot do. If leniency leads to rudeness on the part of children it should be mixed with strictness. That will tell the children that parents are basically kind but can be tough if children show rudeness and bad manners. Over-protection and over-care are undesirable. Let the child grow up as a responsible person. Only provide them guidance.

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16 thoughts on “The Pain Within

  1. I can relate my own story with Lucy. Being a rebel in mind I always back answerd my father’s wrong doings. I loved the way you guided the parents about how a planned parenting can be helpful enough to rise a child properly…

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  2. How you treat your children is how they will treat you when you are old and vulnerable. I have witnessed the good and the bad from others. I have tried to do my best, I have made mistakes as all parents will. But I have made sure my children have seen how I care for my parents so that they will know how to care for me Insha Allah

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  3. Parenting is not a easy job but not tough either…as the child grows parents too grow…pass through many huddles…this is such a warm story….seeing is the best way the child learns the world and about people…

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  4. Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs in the world and it doesn’t even come with instructions! May Allah swt make it easy for all parents to raise righteous members of the Ummah, Ameen

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  5. May Allah protect us from oppression, from our selves and from others, may He guide us to take righteous action, and prevent us from judging others for He alone is the All-Knowing, ameen.

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  6. What a beautiful post – may we all as parents, be reminded of the kindness, humility and respect that we need to show our children, even when they are challenging. The example we set is what will mould them into the adults they become.

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  7. Prayer makes a huge difference. I honestly believe if you raise your children right; support them, love them and guide them they will take care of you in your old age. Spoiling your children, letting them get away with being disrespectful (especially mothers with their sons) is a HUGE NO NO! I know parents who have gone above and beyond for their children, spoiled them enough with no solid foundation and those same children have completely forgotten their parents now. That is why prayer is so important, pray for your children, also watch how you treat your parents because children learn from that. (www.spicyfusionkitchen.com)

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